Thursday, April 30, 2009

To Breech or Not to Breech?

I haven't posted for a while and although I have no pictures to share, I needed an outlet for my thoughts. First, Kaden and I attended Kindergarten orientation last Friday. Going into it, I was so excited for him and thought, "Wow, we're really progressing now," but we got there early so we went to the playground and school was just getting out and when I saw all of the older "big" kids and how crazy they all were, I got really scared and thought, "I can't send my sweet Kaden here and expose him to all of these kids who are so much bigger than him!" and I got pretty emotional realizing that maybe I didn't want him to grow up as fast as he is. But, once we got into the gym with the other parents and kids, I felt better and seeing the classrooms that were set up, I realized that he's going to love it and have a great time. Plus, the kindergarten room have their own entrance from the outside that go right into the rooms and the school even has a small playground right outside the entrances to the kindergarten rooms. Plus, he'll only be there for 2 hours and 45 minutes, I think 1st grade will be the big adjustment. It's making me realize how important our home will be once he starts being exposed to different kids with different ideas and values and how critically important it is for us to keep a good relationship and communication with our kids and BE INVOLVED in their lives every minute. He's excited and I know he's going to have a blast.

Now, onto the big event coming up in our family. As you can see from the pregnancy ticker, we're down to a little more than 4 weeks before the new baby (we're not disclosing his potential name yet as this might be bad luck and we don't want anyone to think we stole it from them - which has happened in the past) is due to come. If it goes the same way Jackson did (3 1/2 weeks early, I have about 1 week before he'll be born. However, the baby is breech at this point and my doctor tried to turn him today (not without some pain I might add) and he had no luck and since I'm dilated to 1 cm (which probably doesn't mean too much at this point) and my doctor was surprised since there's no head causing pressure on the cervix to dilate, I have to say that I came away from my appointment very scared that this baby might have to be born via C-section. My doctor's plan is to hope the baby turns as he still has time (and apparently room) but if I go into labor, he'll try to turn him more aggressively during the early stages of labor and if it doesn't work, he'll do a C-section. I have to admit that a C-section really scares me and most of all, since this is likely our last child, I am mostly sad to not be able to really be a part of his birth and watch it and hold him right after he's born...and I am scared of the pain afterwards and trying to recover and take care of 2 other VERY active kids and adjust to a new baby all at the same time. The baby really seems to like his position up under my ribs so I can't imagine him turning on his own but we're praying for him to do it, trying natural positions to "help" him turn, and Ray will be giving me a blessing on Sunday and then it's out of our hands. It's amazing how each child is different, even before they're born!